A Perfectly Cromulent Girl

Changed my layout, since I was thoroughly sick of the old one, and I re-did my user info - purely because I belatedly realised that people who actually know me (or knew me) in RL might find their way here, and I figured I should make it slightly easier to understand for non-fandom people.

Of course, what prompted that change was me randomly cruising around My Space (evil place), looking for people I went to high school with, since none are on LJ. It was done out of sheer boredom, but OMG, I found the guy I obsessively crushed on for 3+ years until his family moved away. Guh - 7 years later and he's still the absolute hottest guy I have ever layed eyes on in real life (we're talking Joe Flanigan-style hot here!). Is it sad that I considered setting up a MySpace account just so I could send him a message? Probably.

Oh, and in other news, my employment circumstances have changed yet again - I couldn't hack it at the new job. I cannot deal with the 2-3 age group, I am so much more comfortable with 3-5s. It's incredible how much of a difference that extra year makes (for one thing, they're more or less toilet-trained). Anyway, the boss sat me down and had 'a talk' with me, in which we mutally decided I wasn't best for the position - she didn't want to fire me, but she did think I should quit because she could tell I was incredibly unhappy. So now I'm doing casual work - basically like being a substitute teacher. The agency calls and asks me to fill in at different places when regular staff are absent. I've worked at 3 different places already, just filling in for a day, and you know what? I'm actually really enjoying it! :D

First off, Happy Birthday! to ralu_1982. Since birthdays are usually a time for introspection, I have just one piece of advice - don't! Get out of your own head and try to enjoy yourself, okay? Much love to you and I hope you have a good day. {{{hugs}}}

Secondly, I had a weird-ass dream, and it is all kitestringer's fault
( Read more... )

And now to cheer myself up with some TMI memes, ganked from thecityofdis:

( Ten Ways To Know You're Reading A Fic By Me )

( Ten Things I Assume People Know About Me )

( Ten Things I Have Done (That You Probably Haven't) )

My FAQ
The problem with LJ is we all think we are so close, but really we know nothing about each other. So I want you to ask me something you think you should know about me. Something that should be obvious, but you have no idea about. Ask away.

Then post this in your LJ and find out what people don't know about you.

Everything always feels rather anti-climactic after Xmas ends - "Oh, that's it? Ah well, 'til next year then." I had a pretty cool Yule. Only got 3 presents seeing as how my parents already bought me a laptop this year, but that's all right - I would have been fine with no presents since I love my 'puter so much, *hugs Maxie* .

Only thing that kind of bugged me was that one of the presents was a bracelet, and I don't wear jewellery. And I already had this discussion with Mum last year - don't buy me jewellery, I don't wear it! I don't mean to sound ungrateful, but for me, it's the thought that counts, and I'd rather get a cheap, thoughtful gift, than a pointessly expensive one. There's nothing worse than opening a present and thinking, "Wow - this person doesn't know me at all". When said person is your mother, it's a double owie.

On the up side, I got a fabulous present from blackchaps - part 4 of her Beecher/Stabler series, yay! It gave me something to do during the headache that is my family's Christmas lunch. Whenever it got too much, I'd wander off to a quiet corner, chow down on cold ham and chicken, and read up a storm. And frequently disappearing also neatly got me out of baby-sitting duty for my 16-month-old nephew - "I'm busy, let his cousins look after him!" Don't get me wrong, I love Ryan, but a whinier, moodier kid you will never find.

The weather has been perfect for the past few days - rarely a cloud in the sky, and a thousand stars out at night. The humidity gets a bit much though; I've been wandering around in a wifebeater and boxers, which isn't exactly a pretty sight. Especially since I keep pigging out on mince pies and candy canes - I'm fast approaching 'side of a barn'-sized proportions. Blecch.

Oh, and some of you may remember that idea I had ages ago - the one about an AU Oz fic, with the boys in pre-school? Somebody in the SGA fandom stole my idea (well, not literally) and wrote a McShep Kindergarten fic. Which, BTW, is absolutely adorable and made me melt, but now I can't write mine, 'coz I'll feel like I'm ripping off someone else's work, even though technically I had the idea first.

And I'm just gonna apologise right now to whoever gets my oz_magi fics - the muses have clearly abandoned me. I'm a complete hack.

EEEEeeee!!!! Today has been one of the most happy-making days of my life for three reasons:

1. I finally graduated! As of today, I hold a Bachelor of Teaching in Early Childhood. I graduated from the number 1 university in the country, and I am the first person in my family to get a degree. Hell, I was the first person in my family to finish high school. So, I'm feeling pretty damn pleased with myself.

( Obligatory cap-and-gown pics of me )

2. I found out I got that job!!! It was my very first interview ever and I got it! (Incidentally, Evil Brother is both jealous and pissed, because he's been for 7 interviews recently and got fuck all - yay!) So anyway, as of January 9, I am a head teacher in a pre-school/long day care centre - I will manage my own classroom, and have minions assistants to do my bidding help me. I never thought I'd get a job right off the bat - I was so excited, I madly phoned everyone to tell them. Boo yah!!! I rock. Oh yeah, baby, I rock so hard right now. *shakes booty in excitement*

3. I received a package from maverick4oz. Commence fannish squeeing. SQUEEEEEEEE!!!!!! Oh my God, Mav, you are the best, thank you, thank you, thank you!!! I am now in possession of SGA Season 2 eps, when Season 2 doesn't air here until next year (yay!!), as well as 'Thought Crimes' and 'Traders' (OMG, I finally get to see the 'love gulps'!) and some other things I haven't had a chance to look at yet because of my busy day. I also got SGA trading cards and Mav-made magnets and key-chains (which I am so impressed and in love with), and a gay smut address book which cracks me up. Hugs and smooches to you Mav - you totally made Christmas come early for me, and it's definitely the best present I'll get. You are wonderful - from the bottom of my heart, THANK YOU!!!!! :-D

And all this in just one day! I love my life.

ETA: Fixed the pic screw up, you should be able to see them now.

I know that getting into teaching means I'm going to have to deal with idiotic parents, but stories like the following just take the bloody cake:

(Copied from new_religion's comment in customers_suck)
I was criticized for teaching German Mythology involving 'Goblins' or Gnomes that come out at night and help craftsman with their labor while they are asleep, and the legend of Siegfried which involves Dragons, Magic and Sword and Sorcery type stuff. They are both well-known German legends that every schoolchild in Germany would have heard about, but Chrstian parents got together and complained to the Superintendent that I was teaching about 'witchcraft' and 'evil'. Also, they objected to my MYspace account, which unfortuntately my students foudn out about, which contained pics of me in an Adam Ant pirate costume, and had references to me being a Wiccan and a george-Bush hater.

I was unfortunately asked to resign

I mean seriously, what the ever-loving, ass-bleeding fuck? Then of course, there was the teacher who had a parent make an official complaint to the school board, because said parent saw him drinking in a bar on a Saturday night. OMG!!! He was doing something perfectly legal, on his own time, without a single child present! That's so wrong! Teachers aren't human beings with lives of their own - they live at the school and think Godly, child-friendly thoughts all the time!!!111!!!
/sarcasm.

Sheesh, let's hope none of my future students' parents find out about my fannish tendencies or any other 'unsavoury' qualities. I'm sure I'm going to end up hearing all of the following at least once during my career:

"She writes porn! Obviously, being such a morally bankrupt character, she will talk about it at work and our pweshush chyyyldrun will find out about dirty things, like OMG - sex!"

"She supports them queers! ZOMG, we can't let her teach or our baaaaybeees will catch teh ghey!! Oh noes!!!111!ONE!!!"

"She's takes anti-depressants! How could they let a PSYCHOPATH teach our kids! She'll probably hit them!!!"

"She has a very mild case of Asperger's Syndrome!" *Once they find out what that is* "WTF?! If she's so socially retarded, why's she's working with children! They won't learn to socialise properly and end up with no friends! Think of the children, won't somebody please think of the children!!!!"

"She's a WITCH!!!!! Clearly, she will teach our baybees to worship Satan - BURN HER!!!!" (I could try explaining that I'm actually a Christian witch, but such an impossible and blasphemous concept would no doubt make their tiny heads explode).

Yes. By the standards of the average right-wing conservative, I'm an an incredibly nefarious character - I mean, would you let such a dangerous individual near your children? \m/ *Hisssssss!* \m/

Ugh, the stupid - it burns!

Some of you may remember me complaining about getting a totally unfair fine in this post - well, after some nicely-worded complaining, I received a letter today basically saying I was right and therefore they shall refund my $200 - Woohoo!!!

*dances the unashamed happy dance of the very, very poor*

Oh my God, check out my cool new bi-fandom default icon, made the extremely talented rojimouse - sweet freepin' jebus, how I loves it! And now all of my icons are Roji-made. Roji, you're the bestest Internet buddy a girl could ever have - mwah! {{{huggles}}}

Ooh, speaking of icons - remember the 'gay puppet' conversation on Oz? When I saw that, I immediately thought, 'Oh come on - Bert and Ernie, anybody? Two guys in tight turtleneck sweaters who share an apartment in New York and have a bottle cap collection?' So when I stumbled across this icon in a comm, I nearly wet myself with highly amused joy (I have no idea who made it, but it cracks me up).

It's kinda sad how I got a little thrill out of seeing my name in the SGA newsletter.

It's also kinda sad that I've spent 3 hours collecting art materials and creating collage supplies for my lessons next week, including digging through our huge recycling bin with a pair of tongs for old magazines that my mother foolishly threw out. The idea of 'Yay, I'm a teacher!' is still very novel - I have a feeling it will wear off pretty damn quick.

You find the wackiest memes when poking around LJ. Gacked from xx_kitty_kat_xx.
Google "[Your name] needs" in quotation marks. Copy the first ten results.

Sometimes "Erin needs" was in the middle of a sentence and didn't make sense, so I did the first 10 where "Erin needs" was the beginning of the sentence.

1. Erin needs to wear shirts - You mean I can't go around half-nekkid all the time?

2. Erin needs our matter of fact acknowledgement that her beloved is dying - Lee Tergesen's dying?!! *snerk*.

3. Erin needs what most white girls crave - a cock that measures in the double digits. - Boo yah!!! (This one cracked my shit UP!).

4. Erin needs platelets on a regular basis to thicken her blood. - Don't most people?

5. Erin needs that nurturing, too, since she has gone so long without it. - Yes. Nurture me. I need some lovin'. (See #3).

6. Erin needs someone who cares that she is alive. Hey! Plenty of people care! Right, guys? …Right? *crickets chirping*

7. Erin Needs To Be Naked Too!!!!!!! Who Thinks That Erin Should Be Naked As Well? - Me!!! *LMAO*.

8. Erin needs to concentrate on her surf lines and one Phil Collins is enough. - Um. Okay then.

9. Erin needs to understand that people don't like to see a pretty white girl with rap talent that would run circles around sir mix a lot succeed in today's ... - "Can't none a y'all mirror me back, when ya hear me rap…"

10. Erin needs a boyfriend, APPLY HERE. - So fucking true.*headdesk*

Hmm, I just started reading this thing called a 'book' - it has pages and a cover, and you don't read it off a monitor screen, and apparently the author actually got paid to write it. Yeah, completely bizarre and foreign concept to me too. So anyway this 'book' is called Pride and Promiscuity: The Lost Sex Scenes of Jane Austen by Arielle Eckstut, and it's funny as hell. Contains such scenes as Jane Bennet getting frisky with the Bingley sisters, and Charlotte and Mr Collins indulging in a little S&M - poor Jane Austen is probably rolling in her grave.

My favourite of course is the 'lost scene' from Emma, where Frank Churchill attempts to seduce Mr Knightly - "How very fine is your posture, sir! How rigid and erect!" *Snerk*. I love dirty puns, and of course, being written in the style of Jane Austen, this book's full of them: "I have never played billiards," he said, "I have never learnt how, and have been often at a disadvantage as a result. Sir, would you be so kind as to show me how to manipulate this wonderfully long and admirably smooth weapon?" This one also cracked me up: "It's hard to imagine how I long for you. Would you like to know the exact dimensions of my longing?" Bwahahaha!

But what gets me is that this book is essentially fanfic - someone filling in the missing pieces of another's work. Yet she somehow managed to get paid for her efforts - jeez, where do I sign up for that deal?!

( And now a TMI meme gacked from Maddie )

I'm in the computer labs at uni, waiting for my next tutorial to start and bored as hell. So I shall do a meme gacked from various people.

( 20 things you may not know about me )