A Perfectly Cromulent Girl

This is a fic that I actually wrote most of, only a few hours after I found out magickslash had died. I don't know why I wrote it - I suppose just thinking about death led me to thinking about the only death Cherie and I had ever shared mourning, ie. Keller's death. It just popped into my brain, and I wrote it before it disappeared.

I wasn't going to post it, because I thought it was sort of morbid, but now I figure that if Cherie was still around, she'd be telling me to post it anyway. I'm sure she'd also be picking it to pieces and sending me back a ton of red font detailing just how much I should fix before she'd stop saying, "Erin! I know you can do better than this!" *g*

But she's not here, and so I instead present the unbeta'd version.

( Toby's Soliloquy )

First of all, thanks so much to everyone who sent me birthday wishes, especially to cheights for the virtual balloons on my profile; and maddiec24, who sent me a lovely card via snail mail - you didn't have to do that, sweetie! What a lovely surprise.

Secondly - after nearly two years in the Oz fandom, I have finally seen Season 666. Ironically enough, I finished watching the DVDs the day before SBS (Aussie TV channel), decided to get off their butts and air the freakin' final season. Anyhoo, I am now also of the opinion that Fontana lost his damn mind while writing that - it was like watching a completely different show. Shit, anything that can make me feel kind of sad when Omar fucking White dies cannot be the same show. I mean, come on. But I have made my peace with it and shall say no more.

( Rambling on SGA mid-season finale )

Okey-dokey, I have also decided to do the friends-filtering thing from now on, so that I am not boring the non-fandom people on my f-list with fannish rambles, and nor am I swamping the Oz fans with all my SGA squee. Hopefully I've managed to get everyone on the right lists and not missed anyone. *crosses fingers*

blackchaps has finally started posting the Beecher/Stabler fic that I've been looking over for her - and seriously, you must go read it. It's a loooong one - she's only posted about half of the first part and there's more to come, but goddamn, you don't want it to end anyway! Her characterisation of Elliot and his very gradually developing feelings for Beecher ring so true, because she doesn't overlook the fact that Stabler really is the straightest straight guy ever. But the fic is so much more than their relationship - it has a plot! (I am so in awe of anyone who can actually manage that, because Lord knows I can't). And the plot is tied into the building relationship so well!

So please go read it, and let blackchaps know that she's fabulous, because she thinks she isn't, and I don't want to be forced to beat her over the head with a lead pipe in order to knock some sense into her - but I will if I have to! ;o)

"Accidents"

ralu_1982 asked about the deleted scenes from the Oz DVDs, because she doesn't have them so here are transcripts of the Beecher and/or Keller scenes, for her and anyone else who's interested. (Scenes are from Seasons 3-5 - there aren't any deleted scenes on the S2 DVD, and the couple of Beecher scenes on the S1 DVD aren't at all interesting). This includes a couple of scenes I already posted to the TS a couple of months ago.

( Clicky-click )

Okay, time to discuss smut in order to get my mind off the fact that I spent a half hour this afternoon cleaning shit off a three-year-old child who'd some how managed to smear it over virtually his entire body - ah, the joys of Early Childhood teaching. Why did I want this job again?

Anyhoo, on to the smut - recently, I've been pondering the very important and philosophical topic of topping. Namely, who should be doing the topping. Now this has become a question for me, in light of all the SGA fic I've read in recent months. Oz was my first ever fandom, and when it comes to smut in Oz fic, I really don't have a preference either way - Chris topping, Toby topping, it's all good. Of course I've always liked the smut scenes where the boys switch off and each have a turn the best, but either way is just fine with me. So I assumed that I would be like that with any fandom slash pairing I got obsessed with. But SGA has proved I'm not.

When it comes to SGA fic, I am a Rodney-on-top girl all the way. I have no idea why this is. Perhaps because the very first one I ever read had Rodney topping, but I don't think so. It's really quite strange, and very annoying because I can't figure out why I feel this way. Don't get me wrong - I enjoy John-on-top fics just fine, but there's always a moment when a voice in my head says, 'Oh damn, why couldn't they have put Rodney on top?' before I get too immersed in the *guh* to care.

So now I'm curious - what 'topping' do my Oz and SGA peeps prefer on their B/K and/or McShep 'desserts'? Please leave me a comment so I can satisfy my curiosity.

Somebody posted a link to a fic to the Twisted Sisterhood about Keller raping Beecher. And because I'm a masochist, I actually read the fucking thing.

Now I feel bad about complaining because it was actually an all right fic - well-written and sympathetic towards Chris and his desperation, but... but... it's just... goddammit, Keller is NOT A FUCKING RAPIST!!!!! HE'S JUST NOT!!! He is a lying, cheating, killing, unconscionable, bastard murderer, but he doesn't rape people!

Rape is not Keller's style - he loves seduction, he loves the hunt; he gets off on making people want him, especially when they shouldn't. His greatest desire is for someone to love him, no matter how bad he gets. He loves to manipulate people, to trick them into something - he does not get anywhere near as much satisfaction out of forcing them. That would defeat the point of the chase, be the easy way out, and I can only imagine that Keller would find rape boring.

Yes, in the show, it's claimed that he raped and murdered three men. And I have no doubt in my mind that he willfully killed them. But rape? I believe it must have been rough-but-consensual sex that the police decided must have been rape, since he went on to kill them. Think about it - Keller had no problem killing Mondo Browne and Ronnie Barlog, but before each murder he initiated a sex act - a consensual sex act, where he made the person he was about to kill want him. Undoubtedly, a fucked-up little power trip thrill for him, but rape? No. So why would it have been any different with the other three men?

In this particular fic, Keller's actions are blamed on just how desperately he wants Toby. But that excuse still doesn't fly. What about all the way through Season 3 and during the slut!Beecher phase of Season 4? Keller was as desperate and vulnerable as we've ever seen him, and wanted Toby more than oxygen. If he were capable of rape, would he not have struck during either of these times? Particularly Season 4, when in addition to wanting Toby, he was furious with him for accusing him of mudering his son? BUT HE DIDN'T RAPE, TOBY, BECAUSE THAT ISN'T WHAT KELLER DOES! And while I'm on this point, Keller's utter fury and painful hurt over being accused of Gary's murder, also makes the way he implicitly threatens Holly in this fic unrealistic too.

So, yeah - now I feel like a bitch for saying all this stuff about someone else's story. In all honestly, the story is good - if they were any other characters in the world, I wouldn't have a problem with it, but this is just too OOC for words. And ordinarily, I'm pretty tolerant of OOC behaviour in fics - I can almost always find an excuse for it and rationalize it, but this? It just really, really annoyed me.

Ah, I feel better now. End venting.

And here's the latest chapter of 'There Is A God - Keller Be Thy Name'. Only took me five or six months (sheesh).

Special thanks to my slave-driver *cough*, I mean BETA, magickslash for cracking the whip and making me not suck. *mwah!*

( Chapter Three )