You know that saying about not counting your chickens?

[pride_of_erin]

So, today I got a breast ultrasound just to confirm that the lump on my breast really is just a surface cyst, and nothing to worry about unless it starts getting bigger. And it is - so no drama for once, right? WRONG.

During the ultrasound, they discovered another freaking lump on the other side of the same breast, which I would never have even suspected was there, because it's not in the skin tissue, like the other one, so you can't feel it. Instead, it's deep down in the actual breast tissue, which increases the chances of it being something serious. Fucking hell.

Went to my doctor after the ultrasound, and she said it's probably just another cyst because it's so tiny, but she's going to talk to the doctor at the ultrasound place to find out if the lump is big enough to be tested - ie. big enough to have a huge motherfucking needle shoved in it and fluid drawn out. Have I mentioned I have a HUGE fucking needle phobia? I started to have the beginnings of a panic attack as soon as she mentioned the word 'needle'. I could hardly breathe, and it took every ounce of my willpower not to burst into tears. Wonderful - I have to deal with this anxiety on top of the fact that said panic-inducing procedure may reveal horrible news that I don't even want to contemplate right now. I'm just praying they'll decide the lump is too small to be bothered with.

This sucks.

Comments

[jackiesjunkie.livejournal.com]

*super big hugs*

[pride-of-erin.livejournal.com]

Thanks, mate. Luckily, they decided that the lump was too small for a biopsy, but I have to get another breast ultrasound in three months to see if it gets bigger. I refuse to worry about it until then.

[maddiec24.livejournal.com]

Oh, no, sweetie! I hate that you have to worry about this *again*. Sending good thoughts. *hugs*

[pride-of-erin.livejournal.com]

Thanks, Maddie; I know it's not nearly as awful as what you've been going through lately. And I been given a three month reprieve to see if gets any bigger in that time - I refuse to let it worry me until then.

[aswanargent.livejournal.com]

*crosses fingers for you*

[pride-of-erin.livejournal.com]

Thanks, Karen - luckily the lump did turn out to be too small for a biopsy, but I have to get it checked again in three months to see if it grows. Let's keep those fingers crossed, hey? :o)

[luci-2.livejournal.com]

Hugs, my dear. Keep us posted.

[pride-of-erin.livejournal.com]

*hugs back*. Thanks, Luci. Turns out the lump is too small to be tested now, but I have to have it checked again in three months to see if it grows bigger.

[catheights.livejournal.com]

*hugs* I'm sending lots of good and calming thoughts your way. *lots more hugs*

[pride-of-erin.livejournal.com]

Thank you for the hugs - I've been given three months to see if the lump gets any bigger before they do a biopsy, so I'm just waiting as patiently as I can and keeping my fingers crossed.

[deelitefullee.livejournal.com]

Please take care of yourself and keep us updated. You're in my thoughts and prayers.

[pride-of-erin.livejournal.com]

Thanks, hon. It turns out I have to wait three months to see if the lump gets any bigger before they do a biopsy. The waiting is the hardest part, you know?

[deelitefullee.livejournal.com]

Oh girl that's so hard. Please keep me posted. I'm praying hard for you.

[colleendetroit.livejournal.com]

OMGoodness! Needles scary! All scary...((hugs))

[pride-of-erin.livejournal.com]

Oh, hell yeah, needles scare the shit out of me. I've never ever had blood taken in my whole life because of my phobia - the one time they tried, I had a massive panic attack, screaming and crying and hitting the doctor. I was about 17 at the time, so it was majorly embarrassing afterwards.

Anyway, I've been told that I don't have to go through the needle horror if the lump doesn't get any bigger in the next three months. *fingers crossed*