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Ooh, I'mma gonna stab a bitch! I've said it before, and I'll say it again - man, I fucking hate old people! Stabby stabbity stab!!!
Let's rewind to the beginning of the story: Today, 'Brokeback Mountain' was finally released in Australia. And as luck would have it, I could go see it, because it was also Australia Day, and work was closed.
So I went with 3 of my sisters. And all is good. Until we realise we are seated in front the Evil Old Biddies of Doom. And no, we couldn't change seats, because the stupid cinema does assigned seating now (why the fuck they decided that was necessary, I don't know), so you have to sit where you're told. Little tip if you're ever in my area - stay the fuck away from the Greater Union cinema at Miranda. Like it's not bad enough they charge 15 bucks a ticket.
Evil Old Biddies of Doom proceed to talk through the entire movie. Not even whispering. Just four or five of them commenting on every. Single. Thing. That was up on screen, like we're deaf, blind, and dumb, and can't figure it out for ourselves. I don't care who you are - that's just fucking rude. And at the age of 60 or 70-something, you should know better. And believe it or not, I can see for myself that Anne Hathaway's hair colour changed! Wow! That's amazing! Totally worth a five minute discussion. Oh, and she's wearing a ring that's the same as one of your friends has! It's perfectly understandable that all of you guffawed loudly over this during an emotional scene, because damn! That really is funny! /sarcasm.
Now here's the best part - apparently in addition to being the rudest, most inconsiderate beings to ever amble up from the pits of hell, they were also complete fucking morons, and didn't bother to find out what the hell BM was even about before they went to go see it. You see where this is heading, right?
"Oh my god - they're queers! Well, you just never saw that kind of thing in our day, did you?"
Thank you. That's really what I wanna hear during the first sex scene. There's hot, grunting boy love happening in front of me, and I have to be distracted by this? And please, do go on to loudly exclaim, "That's just disgusting!" during the reunion kiss - that really made the moment for me. And when one character dares to utter the f-word, it's absolutely called for that you mention, "Well, this certainly isn't for kids, is it?" Because you certainly can't be expected to have a brain and know that this is rated M for over 15 years old, can you?
Halfway through, I was feeling so pissed, that I turned around and shushed them as loudly as I could. A 22-year-old shushing senior citizens - what's wrong with this picture? Not as much as what's wrong with the next picture - they started making shushing noises back at me, like what I just did was the funniest thing ever! What are you, fucking twelve? Grow up, you stupid, rude, homophobic cunts! Creatures like you are the reason nobody likes old people, and why they get left to rot in nursing homes. Hope you all fall and break your fucking hips.
And here's a tip - if you find a movie so offensive; fucking LEAVE! Don't watch it! Very simple!
End of the story: I loved the movie, but watching it whilst being distracted and thoroughly pissed off, lessened my love. Which is why my sisters (who were also fuming) and I, are seeing it again tomorrow night - at a very late showing, hopefully after all the evil crypt keepers have retired to their dungeons for the night.
Let's rewind to the beginning of the story: Today, 'Brokeback Mountain' was finally released in Australia. And as luck would have it, I could go see it, because it was also Australia Day, and work was closed.
So I went with 3 of my sisters. And all is good. Until we realise we are seated in front the Evil Old Biddies of Doom. And no, we couldn't change seats, because the stupid cinema does assigned seating now (why the fuck they decided that was necessary, I don't know), so you have to sit where you're told. Little tip if you're ever in my area - stay the fuck away from the Greater Union cinema at Miranda. Like it's not bad enough they charge 15 bucks a ticket.
Evil Old Biddies of Doom proceed to talk through the entire movie. Not even whispering. Just four or five of them commenting on every. Single. Thing. That was up on screen, like we're deaf, blind, and dumb, and can't figure it out for ourselves. I don't care who you are - that's just fucking rude. And at the age of 60 or 70-something, you should know better. And believe it or not, I can see for myself that Anne Hathaway's hair colour changed! Wow! That's amazing! Totally worth a five minute discussion. Oh, and she's wearing a ring that's the same as one of your friends has! It's perfectly understandable that all of you guffawed loudly over this during an emotional scene, because damn! That really is funny! /sarcasm.
Now here's the best part - apparently in addition to being the rudest, most inconsiderate beings to ever amble up from the pits of hell, they were also complete fucking morons, and didn't bother to find out what the hell BM was even about before they went to go see it. You see where this is heading, right?
"Oh my god - they're queers! Well, you just never saw that kind of thing in our day, did you?"
Thank you. That's really what I wanna hear during the first sex scene. There's hot, grunting boy love happening in front of me, and I have to be distracted by this? And please, do go on to loudly exclaim, "That's just disgusting!" during the reunion kiss - that really made the moment for me. And when one character dares to utter the f-word, it's absolutely called for that you mention, "Well, this certainly isn't for kids, is it?" Because you certainly can't be expected to have a brain and know that this is rated M for over 15 years old, can you?
Halfway through, I was feeling so pissed, that I turned around and shushed them as loudly as I could. A 22-year-old shushing senior citizens - what's wrong with this picture? Not as much as what's wrong with the next picture - they started making shushing noises back at me, like what I just did was the funniest thing ever! What are you, fucking twelve? Grow up, you stupid, rude, homophobic cunts! Creatures like you are the reason nobody likes old people, and why they get left to rot in nursing homes. Hope you all fall and break your fucking hips.
And here's a tip - if you find a movie so offensive; fucking LEAVE! Don't watch it! Very simple!
End of the story: I loved the movie, but watching it whilst being distracted and thoroughly pissed off, lessened my love. Which is why my sisters (who were also fuming) and I, are seeing it again tomorrow night - at a very late showing, hopefully after all the evil crypt keepers have retired to their dungeons for the night.
