Yeah, 'owns' is like 'rules' - and it's not your English skills going to hell, it's a fairly new-ish bit of slang. And when somebody's been 'owned' it means that they've been punished for their shitty behaviour in an ironic, karma-like way. Although it's more common to see the Internet version of 'owned', which is 'PWNED!' (I don't know what this obsession with misspelling is).

You've got Howell in your brain now? Shit, it was a scary enough place to begin with...